My Reading Life

I have always loved words. When I was younger, I enjoyed discovering new words and using them voraciously. I used to get a kick out of learning the obscure meanings to words. In first grade, I would get high marks for handwriting. Not because I practiced endlessly but because I enjoyed seeing the words I “created”. It was exciting. And when these magical little words combined in a great story, I was hooked! I used to love reading both books and song lyrics.

Then there was Ms. Cooley, my second grade teacher. We had an awesome classroom library that was always at our disposal. She encouraged us to choose books we enjoyed reading and taught us which books were best for our level. I loved sitting in the comfy chairs and reading from these little gems.

As an only child, books were often my best friend. I learned all the “girl stuff” about growing up from a book that I read until the pages came loose from the binding. I could relate to the characters lives and imagined life in their world. As a kid, I loved going to the library and can clearly remember my first library card.

Like a great song, I can connect great books I have read at certain points in my life. For example, reading “ The Autobiography of Malcolm X” in summer camp after starting to formulate an awareness of the civil rights era and the black consciousness movement. I remember reading “ I Know This Much Is True” by Wally Lamb during a period of extreme anxiety and indecisiveness about my future after grad school. I remember reading “The Great Gatsby” for the first time on vacation in Houston. And reading “The Good House” by Tanavarie Due while visiting my grandfather in Florida.

In college, I was a Anthropology major and I read articles, books, and essays laden with theoretical discourse. And I rarely read much fiction. I began to think that fiction was not comparable to the type of information you could learn from informational text. I thought it was basically a waste of time.

But somewhere in grad school I turned to fiction as a “mental” escape. I was bored with the nonfiction format. It was predictable and felt static. It was the text format not the text that bored me to tears! I loved learning and felt I was intellectually expanding but I needed something more. It was then I began really “reading” literature. I was searching for the same excitement, thrill, and connection to stories I felt when I was a child. And I found what I was looking for. I became an avid reader of literature and have been hooked ever since. As a reader I believe I have evolved. It took different experiences, personal and educational, to become a reader who can, at most times, balance any type of text. Reading online has become an extension of that. I can google as fast as my mind skips subjects and skim read for any purpose. I can find fast answers to propel my thinking forward or I can linger on a page and dig as deep as I want. I guess I am still evolving…(Thank goodness.)

"MESSAGE!"

I feeling very loquacious today...but i just realized that as far as the writing process goes and this whole blogging thing...I have noticed a change in myself as a writer. First, I am more likely to edit my writing ( although it ususally takes at least 2-3 re-readings to notice errors) Also if someone responds to my blog, I find that I am more likely to read their blog or others in generally...kinda like a blogging "pay it forward" And I am MUCH more self-aware as a writer. I want to make sure what I say accurately reflects what I want to communicate with others (I've probably revised every blog in one way or another). Lastly, most of my blogs attempt to elicit some "action" from the reader...like viewing another website. These personal observations are developing my ideas about using blogs in the classroom context. What do you think?

( For a Little Giggle...Title Reference- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_Be_a_Menace_to_South_Central_While_Drinking_Your_Juice_in_the_Hood)

SOOOOO BUSTED!

I was searching the internet ( at work...tsk.tsk.) for what I could find out about Hopkin Green Frog. ( p.s. I am still at work so I will make this quick!) The phenomenon is interesting but I will blog more on that later. (I found it interesting that the TYPES of websites where you could find information on this meme...( boing.boing., etc.) seemed to share some similarities...which makes sense because it reflects the virtual social circles one travels. But one site ( urbandictionary.com) caught my eye...so after reading the information on Hopkin Green....I did some searching on this site of my own...I looked up a few slang words and giggled a bit or frowned at others. ( Check this site out...it is an EDITABLE dictionary. You can post your own definitions to words! That is a powerful example of the COLLECTIVE intelligence we have been reading about BUT I think it has some dangerous implications. )

I can't go too far off on a tangent so let me bring it back...Anyway...On this site I began to look up some very offensive terms to see what folks were saying. LONG STORY SHORT....I was searching an EXTREMELY sensitive term ( think about all the trouble Isiah Washington has been in for his recent comments about a co-star on Grey's Anatomy)...YUP...That's the one! Just as the definition populated on my screen....MY BOSS WALKS INTO MY CUBICLE WITH A PRINCIPAL! I couldn't close my screen in time so I fiddled a little to get her the information she wanted but I am sure they both knew I was NOT working...(well, not for the EO Board at least.) UUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! I feel like freaking Charlie Brown....People only notice when I mess up!!!!!!!! I've been working hard as hell lately, staying late nights, working weekends, busting my ass!!!!!!! AND OF ALL TIMES for someone to walk in! AND of all people!!! I am such an idiot!

Left Out of The Conversation

Looming deadlines, personal illness, and procrastination have invaded my life in recent weeks. I have fallen behind in my studies, my personal "projects" (because "issues" is such a loaded word...hee-hee) at home, and I am juggling many projects at work. What is a girl to do? I used to think I was an excellent multi-tasker but in recent weeks, I had to get real. I am a "one thing at a time" kinda girl. (Now I do pride myself on being efficient so I try to get through minor tasks as quickly as possible....but when it's a BIG project...like JayZ..."I'm so focused, man!".) I spend so much time absorbed in the largest task at hand!

Anyway...I am behind a few weeks in class and I noticed that I feel completely left out of the conversations regarding class as a result. I have been keeping up with the readings, searching things online but since I missed a few discussion board posts...I feel left out....sniff.sniff. [ pause for sympathetic consideration] It was just a random thought but this could have an impact on ways in which we decide to use certain "new literacies" practices ( like discussion boards and blogging) in class. If interaction and participation are essential parts of project then how do we monitor participation and provide feedback in a personalized way? Is there a way to re-engage a student who has fallen behind? I maybe just babbling but had a few minutes to vent before yet ANOTHER meeting...( sidebar...i looked up the word meeting. turns out it's origins are related to the word "moot". the adjectival form of the word "moot" means 'OF NO PRACTICAL IMPORTANCE!!! Can I get an AMEN!)

An Abbreviated Blog Post

Is anyone else beginning to panic about this global warming thing? Why isn't there more time and attention made to this crisis? It can't called an environmental crisis...this is a human crisis! What can I do? Reducing my energy consumption by turning off the lights when I leave the room does not seem like enough! Even if my next car is a hybrid...will that be enough?

Health Is Wealth

About a month ago, I was in Macy's buying a shower gift. Next to me was an elderly woman completing her purchase at the other register. I'm not sure what she and the salesperson were discussing exactly, something about winning money or saving money. And as she walked away from the counter, she turned to the saleswoman and said "Health is wealth." Now I'm sure I've heard this before but it was something about how she said it. Like it was a proclamation from a person who had the first hand wisdom and experience to make such an announcement. For whatever reason, it stuck with me. Little did I know, I would soon come to understand these words personally. About two weeks ago, I went to bed with a sore lower back. ( This is not unusual since I had recently learned that a slipped disc, from a fall in college, in my lower back was sitting on a sac of nerves and thus I was prone to some back pain.) Anyway, after a fitful night's sleep, I woke to probably the worse pain I have ever had in my life!!! My entire back ached like I had a painful charley horse! I couldn't walk, sit, and could barely breathe because ANY movement in my abdominal area resulted in excruciating pain. It was the first time I have felt PANIC when it came to my health. After going to the doctor, taking lots of pain meds, and lying flat on my back for about a week; I slowly became aware of the words from that random Macy's customer. I remember thinking...what if I can't work anymore? what if I have to collect disability? what if I can't have children? and on and on my mind began to race. Although I NEVER want to feel that way again, this experience did help me realize how much I take for granted. Instead of wishing for that bigger house, better car, designer shoes, etc... I am just counting my blessings that I am alive and healthy to greet each new day. Knowing that a day without pain can make me feel like I have a million bucks! Health is truly wealth!

My "MySpace" Space

I actually joined MySpace about a year ago. There had been so much talk about kids and teenagers on the site and school districts desperately tying to block access that it sparked my interest. I wanted to understand all the hype so I decided to join. Naturally I didn't upload a picture ( at the time) fearing a student would see my face on this "subversive" site. But I did search around a bit. I saw tons of pictures of mostly young people with all sorts of profanity and suggestive pictures, which made me, believe there was some truth to all the stories I had been hearing. Then a close friend sent an email forward about a young girl, in her niece’s eighth grade class, who was killed after 'meeting' a man she met online. The story made the newspaper and MySpace, in my mind once again was this Internet networking site that allowed impressionable children to fall prey to child predators so I immediately deactivated my profile on the site. Case closed. MySpace was bad and had to be stopped. A month or so went by and I met a musician who told me about his MySpace page. I asked him (as we were the same age) if the site was just for kids. He told me that all the musicians he knows are on MySpace and he uses it to make new contacts, keep in touch with out of town friends, and to showcase his work. Really? I asked if there were people "our age" on MySpace and he responded there were thousands. Really? I decided to give MySpace another try.

This time what I found was much different. Naturally I went to his site first. I saw video performances of him on stage during Live8, photos of him on tour, heard original music he composed, and pictures of his "friends". Wow! It was a "living" resume for a musician. Not static, boring online resume I was accustomed to seeing. There might be something to this MySpace "thing" after all. So after a few hours of browsing through his "friends" (although I felt like a cyperstalker) I decided to join once again. It was slow going at first. The only "friend" I had was Tom (the founder who appears on everyone's profile). I felt like the high school outcast who wants desperately to be one of the "in" crowd...I wanted more friends. So I reached out. I started to send out "friend" requests to others, searched for old friends, and searched the alumni pages for college pals. One of my first friends was an ex-boyfriend who I kept in contact with and who used the site to promote his networking business. We talked about why we decided to join and what we have discovered about the site. Then I started to get "friend" requests. These requests were mostly from men (my age) who lived in the New Jersey/New York area. Heck, I'm a single gal and have learned that Internet dating is much more "acceptable" then it had once been but I wasn't too keen on "meeting" someone from MySpace. But I thought I would be "friendly" (pardon the pun). A few of my MySpace 'suitors' began to ask for my IM (I don't regularly IM so I had to create an identity on Yahoo Chat in order to communicate). (Random thought- we could apply the same "new literacies" paradigm to the shift in the way single people meet & date...but that is a blog for another day.) Before I knew it I had friends, IM pals, a new dating prospect, and funky new wallpaper for my profile. All my prior inhibitions seemed to go out of the window. That was then, this is now... Most of my "top friends" are family members, students I worked with in grad school, and some of my current favorite musicians. I visit MySpace almost daily, have posted a few blog entries, keep my current favorite song on my page, and have added more photos from my summer vacation in Maui. Since I am an obvious music lover, most of the current "friend requests" have come from bands/musicians, which I am happy to add. But I reserve my Top Friends for my favorites (A girl has to have standards! smile) I am not your average cyber-groupie. So that is my MySpace story. It has become another extension of who I am, what I value, and whom I care about.

Here are some of the other ways I have used MySpace...
* Sent birthday greetings or post holiday "comments" on my friend's/family's profile
* Rearranged my Top Friends to reflect those people I am currently in contact with
* Searched for and sampled new music and the profiles of my favorite musicians
* Visited my friend's profiles and read their pages
* Responded to friend's blogs (even read a short story by an aspiring writer and gave him critical feedback-he never
Responded)
* Visited sites of old boyfriends (I know it's cyber stalking but I can't help it)
* Saw pictures of my friend's families
* Laughed at some of the videos my friend's have uploaded
* Organized a reunion with my students from grad school
* Responded to a friend’s bulletin request for help with a creative project
* Sent my URL to friends
* Arranged to meet a "friend" in Chicago (but chickened out when I got there)
* Dated a guy for about three weeks after "meeting" him on MySpace
And in a bizarre "small world" story- I met a guy at a club in the city, only to find out later, that he had reached out to me on MySpace about 9 months earlier. I never put it together until I was clearing out old messages from my Inbox and saw his face! I thought it was interesting that neither of us would have ever figured it out nor did we recognize the other when we met.
http://www.myspace.com/courikym

What I Understand About Men...

"The Revolution Will Not Be Televised"

Borrowing a phrase from Gill Scott-Heron's famous spoken word poem, for me, captures what the underlying tone of the Chapters 1 & 2 of Michele Knobel & Colin Lankshear, NewLits book. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTCQSk2l8bc) In the poem, Scott-Heron juxtaposes prevalent 'images' from an everyday medium, television, and the 'real' social cultural struggles for power that impacted African American people during the sixties. He attacks the television medium in a way that highlights the power and influence of marketing and what "dominant" culture deems important. It is a call to action for people. This revolution could not be televised because it, as Scott-Heron states, "would be live". It would be an event, not a headline. (I hope my choice for an opening does not offend anyone because this is not my intention.) I had a hard time finding the right words to capture my feelings and thinking after this week's assignment.

The late hour and the several cups of coffee aside, I finished the reading and felt that the new "mindset" Knobel & Lankshear are discussing can/will have a revolutionary impact, as Schrage points out, on the way in which we think about our work as "reading" teachers and the ways schools will have to "re-orient" themselves. Prior to the reading I expected to read about how digital technology can be incorporated into what we were already doing. I didn't expect that this would problematize the very foundation of what I believed to be right things we are doing for schools and our students. I didn't expect to find myself feeling like an unwitting accomplice in maintaining the same "oppressive" practices that hinder our students from becoming literate. This reminds me of the first time I heard of Marxist theory from my Pan-African professor during my semester abroad in Zimbabwe. It was if a "new" world was being revealed to me that seemed to contradict what I understood about the world. It shattered my own preconceptions of history, present day, and the future. It is interesting that my professor used the work of Freire to highlight the ways we "know" the world is manipulated by forces in order to exact control on its citizenry. This new sense of the world continues to shape my own perspective.

So what does this have to do with reading?

If new literacies are about reshaping our "relationships between people and between organizations", it will obviously force us to reevaluate the entire structure of the educational system. I cannot draw any conclusions at this point but simply ask more questions:
1. How can we create pedagogy of power for literacy learning that meets the traditional standards imposed by state and national standard?
2. How can we effectively train teachers, through professional development opportunities, to meet the new pedagogical approaches necessary to meet the demands of these new literacies?
3. How can we properly support students who are "struggling" readers using new literacies?
4. Is there room for technology "tweens" in the "newcomer" and "native" paradigm (i.e. people in the 28-34 bracket who have their feet in both 'worlds'? How do we differentiate professional development for these "tweens"?
5. Where do we start?

What good are signs if I don't take heed?

Last night I had a flurry of odd dreams with a host of signs and symbols. I keep a dream dictionary next to my bed and usually reach for it after waking and something I dreamed really bugged me. So this morning, I turned to my bedside table and flipped the pages to make sense of what my subconscious had conjured up the night before. Three symbols stuck out to me...one was a mouse. It was a small mouse and he was being dangled in front of my face. For whatever reason, in this dream I wasn't afraid and was only mildly concerned as the person holding him threatened to kill him. Huh, excuse me...I'm a punk. If someone was dangling a mouse in front of my face, animal lovers will hate me for this, I would probably vote for a quick execution ( or a even quicker..get it out of my face!!!!!) So I was anxious to find out what seeing this little critter meant. According to the dream gurus...it was a precautionary sign, a warning that I should be careful in my dealings with people, both personally and professionally. Score One for "Warning".

The second symbol in my dream was a toddler. He was an adorable little thing and I was holding him and kissing him. He wasn't my child. He was a friend's baby as I was staying at their home..(you know how dreams shift setting and context so quickly). Next thing I know, this cute, adorable thing is using a cloth harness to descend from the second floor balcony to the patio below. The rope for the harness is thick and buoyant so his little feet softly play patty-cake with the floor until he stops bouncing and released him from the rope. He then comes smiling and walking into my open arms and that's when I realize he does not have any arms. He does, however, have hands. His hands are coming from his shoulders. My heart breaks at this sight and I wake up. Again, I look up the symbol for child. Usually children are a good omen...unless they are sick or disfigured in some way. If they are, yes, it is a symbol of warning in personal matters.

Finally, I looked up the meaning of lake or water. I remembered a large lake from which one of the rooms I was staying looked out over. The interesting part of it was that the closer I got to the window, I could see that the waters were actually raging. The water was frothy from waves and a murky green-blue. If you'll been paying attention...you can guess what this symbol represented.

At this point of my diatribe, I'd like to make two points...I am not as strange as these dreams suggest and I do not think I can predict my future with dreams. I do, however, that if you pay attention...dreams provide a window into what we may already know to be true in our subconscious lives. Having said this, one would think that I would be extra cautious about my personal dealings today. No such luck! I got into a huge argument with an old friend of mine and said some awful things. That would normally be enough...Not for me! It so happens that today is her birthday! Can you believe that??? It seems that the signs were there...I just thought it meant that someone would do something with me or maybe I should be a little weary of others when it turned out, the signs were really for me. I was supposed to be cautious about how I deal with others. Dang! I really thought I was going to get it right today. Therefore, after several apologies, I hope she can forgive me and I can somehow stop kicking myself in the pants for not paying attention to the signs that were right in front of me the whole time! Thank goodness it's Friday. I need to boogie before I blog about "New Literacies". It has been some week.

The Purpose of Education

Recently I read James Baldwin's 1963 essay, "A Talk To Teachers" in which he discussed the purpose of education. He stated "The purpose of education, finally, is to create in a person the ability to look at the world for himself, to make his own decisions, to say to himself this is black or this is white, to decide for himself whether there is a God in heaven or not. To ask questions of the universe, and then learn to live with those questions, is the way he achieves his own identity." As educators, we often tell our students that 'knowledge is power'. As a classroom teacher, I remember countless times telling my students about the importance of education. I would lecture them about why they need to do their homework or why they should read a particular book. Yet, I can't call a single moment when I made it abundantly clear that the process of learning would someday allow them to the opportunity to question or make personal meaning of the very things I was teaching them.

These words resonated with me as I read Angela Thomas' article " Children Online: learning in a virtual community of practice". Using Wenger's model of 'communities of practice' as a lens, she described ways in which students were 'making meaning' of their world and themselves and creating a space for identity to evolve. Many times as teachers we will say " But I taught them how to do this...Why don't they do it?" We shift the responsibility to the kids for not 'learning' what we 'taught' as if it is their problem that they just get it. I was so struck but the holes Thomas poked in Vygotsky's theory of learning and the necessity of the "expert" other. In our own district, we focus on the use of Vygotskian approaches to scaffolding learning for our students-again, the premise being that WE are the ones who KNOW and our students are the ones who don't know. Yet it seems educators are the ones who are stuck when it comes to knowing what literacy learning is and what it is not.
We assume that a child with an open book is learning while the student on the internet is wasting time. We assume that all eyes have to be directed at us in order for a child to learn. "New Literacies" means looking closely at the ways in which students engage in literacy practices using technology as a mediator. If we are to truly engage in the teaching of literacy, it seems to me that we have to change what we think literacy learning "looks like". It is abundantly clear that literacy is about identity formation therefore we must understand the digital contexts in which students use language to create an identity for themselves. As Thomas illustrated, although an online community may NOT appear to be a literacy rich environment, in reality, "literacy is marked and mediated specifically through language" in this digital space.

In this era of standardized testing and the death grip of NCLB, particularly on urban districts, we moved further away from the very purpose of education, which as Baldwin so eloquently stated, is the ability for our students to "achieve their own identity". It is up to educators to transform any classroom practices that hinders education's true purpose.
So how can we transform schools and classrooms to allow for these "new literacy" practices to occur and be valued? I think it starts with a complete paradigm shift about what literacy learning really is and keep a clear focus on the very purpose of the institution itself. If we, as educators, don't begin to transform curriculum and teaching and learning to meet these new practices, then someone else will do it for us- which Carmen Luke illuminated in her article.

In Carmen Luke's article "What's Next? Toddler Netizens, Playstation Thumb, and Techno-literacies", she examined the impact of 'educational' software companies and video game media has already far preceded educators in framing what learning with technology looks like. In doing so, they have created a myoptic version of literacy learning with technology in the eyes and minds of parents. Her article was a call to action for educators to grab the reigns from these developers and take a critical look what, who, where, and how children are using technology.

I was particularly struck by two observations which, I had not thought much about, have a real impact on the students in my district. The first was the way in which these games present an Anglo-centric view of the world. It resonated with me when I thought about a recent video someone sent me online. It was a newstory about a young, African American teenager, Kiri Davis, who created a documentary in which she re-enacted the same study about race used by Dr. Kenneth Clark to make the case for desegregation in the landmark Brown Vs. Board of Ed. decision. In the documentary, young black children are asked to choose between a black or white doll. Most of the kids chose the white doll when asked which doll is "good" or "nice" and chose the black doll when asked which doll is "bad". If we know that marketing and products impact young children's preception of themselves, then I can only imagine the detrimental impact on identity, African American students in particular, if the online and digital media exclude them from this evolving media. The second observation made by Luke which really hit home was her conversation about access to technology. Which begs the question... What good is the superhighway, if you all you have is a bus pass? I think these are crucial considerations as we re-examine what learning in this new digital environment for urban, mostly African American, students.

My ZenPlace

I've been trying to get to this mystical place for some time now. I think we all do at some point in our lives-when we just need something more to give us a feeling of peace and general well-being. Not just an impetuous New Year's resolution that fades after a few weeks...but a feeling that what we seek is close at hand yet still beyond our reach. And when I get this feeling there is only one tangible thing that propels me closer...music.

I've heard people talk about the "soundtrack to their lives" and if i was to score my own, I think it would reflect the ebbs and flows of the pursuit of my ZenPlace. Recently I have been so frustrated and stressed because I just couldn't find the music to match my current state of being. Until, I decided to let the power of myspace (once again) bring "my" music to me. ( No, if you're wondering, and those who know me can attest, i don't have one ounce of musical ability in me....can't carry a note, never had the discipline to learn an instrument...nothing, nada...not a lick) But what I do have is a genuine love of great music and I am forever inspired by talented songwriters and musicians. Tonight I searched dozens of artists and bands on My Space. ( It was my first time because I am an erratic MySpace user....I can hardly believe I was on for 3 hours!) So in pursuit of my ZenPlace...I found some talented folks that I think are definitely worth a listen and who will soon be added to the ipod under 2007 Soundtrack. These artists cross a few genres but their stories definitely take me further on my path. I can tell, it is going to be a great year!

Conya Doss, Alice Smith, Anthony David, Matt Cusson, Ryan Montbleau, The Coup, Warren Barfield, Mateo, Raul Midon, and Cary Brother...thank you for your gifts.

The Elephant In The Room

Technology in education, particularly in K-12, is the metaphorical elephant in the room that is pleading for our attention yet we are often distracted by other obligations. We instead focus our already strained attentions to immediate concerns like assessment, funding, budget, boards, politics, scheduling, funding, lesson planning, funding, apathy, discipline, classroom management, and the list continues ad nauseum. Fingers are pointed, programs are cut, and in the end the people who we work to serve are left out. Our students.

Our students suffer from attention-deficit disorder in an information saturated society. I believe that it is our responsibility as educators to meet their needs which are being constantly shaped and changed by technological advances of our times. My own educational experiences mirror the huge gaps in technology training as a child of the "computer generation" . I can remember the first time I saw an APPLE computer. I was in first or second grade ( circa 1978/79) and we had a weekly class where we entered strange codes ( RT 90, LT 90 for Right 90 and Left 90) on a black DOS screen with a tiny triangle ( our teacher called it a turtle) and the little turtle would follow our commands. Before I knew it...VOILA! Following my commands I eventually "drew" a square. I was brilliant! A computer genius...I could hardly wait for what came next,which was,absolutely nothing! Other than Atari, I don't think I saw another computer until high school!

Needless to say, other than my little turtles, I never had a formal class on how to use technology OR rarely used technology throughout my schooling (except word processing and email in college).

So what's the big deal? I turned out alright. Although the last point is debatable, I will say this, I firmly believe that as a visual learner and an individual so right-brained I'm almost lopsided- I know how my own education could have been enriched if I had teachers that truly embraced technology. Teachers who showed me how to use technology to represent my ideas, express my opinions, and deepen my own understanding of self using this amazing virtual space.

Therefore the impetus for taking READ 600 is to learn the many dynamic ways education can be enhanced through technology. More important, this class is a crucial step to deepening my own understanding of how technology can support fresh ways for students, in particular urban students, can become more motivated and engaged in literacy learning. In the end, I hope we can start "talking" about technology in meaningful ways and implement projects that allow our students to use technology for authentic learning.